Wild Adventures with 5 kids, Part 1. Yellowstone NP.

At some point, we decided that having children wasn't going to stop us from going on adventures. We went to Zion National Park when Byron was 3 months old and have tried to keep it up since. It is always crazy and it is always worth it. We have found that the two go together and we must get out there and experience the crazy and stressful to enjoy the beautiful.  Our latest adventure was to Yellowstone NP and Grand Teton NP.  We were in the parks for 7 nights total. It wasn't long enough. Either park could easily take a week or more by itself. Here are the Yellowstone pics and I will share the GTNP pics in the next post.

The Beartooth Highway enters the northeast corner of Yellowstone and was called the most beautiful drive in America by Charles Kuralt. We don't dispute it, though it's awfully hard to choose when America has so very many gorgeous drives. 

Me, on top of the world on the Beartooth Highway, which reaches almost 11,000 feet at its highest point. 

We spotted a group of mountain goats walking in a line, so we parked and hopped out to see them more closely. Doesn't this look like a scene from The Sound of Music?

Someone got a ride from Daddy. June was possibly our least complaining adventurer and hiked many miles like a champ.

Obligatory bison-induced traffic jam photo. Can't leave Yellowstone without one!

We stayed in Grant Village Campground on Loop I, right next to Yellowstone Lake. This was a great loop to stay in as you can access the lakeshore by foot in less than a minute. Grant Village is about an hour drive from both the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone and Old Faithful. It's also less than an hour to Grand Teton. 

The fantastic thing about kids who wake up early is that you get to explore in the golden hour when few people are awake. Yellowstone and "few people" are not usually in the same sentence, so I cherished my early morning photo walks on the lake. 

Old Faithful Inn, as seen from the boardwalk trail.

Grand Prismatic Spring trail. 

Frog hunting (they did find one!) at Grant Village Campground.

The pelicans were also up early. 

Site 312 in the I loop. This was a great place for our family because we were right next to the bathroom, which made it much easier for littles. 

The three musketeers and I checked out the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone while Daddy took a horse ride with the kids at the Canyon location. 

We found the skies to be absolutely incredible. 

Byron on Casino and Ruth on Cheyenne after their 1 hour trail ride. This was their favorite  part of the trip, along with becoming Junior Rangers and getting their patches.

 We managed to have some relatively quiet moments at a very busy park as you can see in most of the photos. However, here is a great example of what the roads are like if you a) are near the main attractions b) are behind someone who spotted a moose/bison/imaginary animal and stopped in the middle of the road to take photos or c) are caught in construction traffic. 

Never say never

I completed my first Isabody Challenge earlier this month. It was a great experience for me, focusing on my health this last 16 weeks. I was able to lose 16 pounds and gain greater clarity about my health and goals. I also feel like it gave me confidence to dream again in all areas. I also decided to get over my fear of what people think about at home businesses and actively tell people about it- to pursue this as a legitimate business, because it is. I am so so glad that Carolyn shared about the benefits she received from nutritional cleansing. It has kept me afloat during some crazy times.

Part of the Isabody Challenge is writing a short essay on why you decided to participate. Here is mine. I hope it gives you a good idea of my heart behind this business.

 My life is a little bit crazy. I am a mom to five children, three through adoption and two biologically. They are all between the ages of 4-9 and two of them have significant special needs that affect our daily life. Our most recent adoption rocked our world as our daughter was older and has Down syndrome. It was a big transition and truthfully, we weren’t handling it well. I felt defeated in all areas from mothering to physical health. The Isabody Challenge was, for me, a way to prove to myself that I could rise above the demanding circumstances of my everyday and that I could thrive.  

The biggest thing I have gained from digging into this challenge is to realize that if I put my mind to something, I can make change happen. Physically, I have made a transformation I never believed possible. I have more muscle than I have ever had and am amazed at what I can achieve with consistent positive choices and conviction. One day I realized that this transformation physically means that I can transform in other areas. I so deeply want to be a person who exudes joy and spiritual vitality. Seeing that my body can change helped me leave that place of defeat and pursue being the person I long to be. It also helped me truly believe that I can impact change elsewhere.

One of my mottos in life, “add to the beauty,” comes from a song by Sara Groves with the same title. There is so much that is truly heartbreaking in this world and we have the opportunity to enter in and bring light and life to places that need it. There will always be difficulty and injustice, but we have a choice in how we respond to these things. Do we let darkness prevail and lay down in defeat, or do we choose to use our unique gifts, personality and resources to make our world a more beautiful place? Before I began using Isagenix products, I lived many days with headaches and fatigue. I had no energy and no clue how I was going to keep up with my life and I certainly didn’t have energy to think about living out my passions. Isagenix changed all of that for me and I am so thankful that another mom shared it with me. I am committed to also sharing these solutions with others. So many people are living each day exhausted, not able to be the vibrant people they long to be because their physical body isn’t keeping up with their heart’s passions. I want to see this change for as many people as possible. I want to see more people full of energy to love their families and meet the deep needs of the world by doing what they are uniquely gifted to do. The world needs each and every one of us to add to the beauty. 

On Not Giving Up

I have lived various parts of my life from a place of defeat, especially in regards to my health.  I would try to make changes and make goals, but inevitably would fall back into poor habits of eating too much sugar, drinking too much caffeine and double that when I was stressed. Then I would just give up the goals and do whatever I felt like. I always liked the excuse of being pregnant so that I could eat whatever I wanted and say I was eating for two! These habits just resulted in sluggish, puffy me with headaches, grouchiness, stomach upset and the blues. After Katya's adoption fell through, I spent a lot of time crying and eating too much Ben & Jerry's fro-yo. (It's healthier! You can eat more before you feel super guilty... right??!) This also didn't do me any favors in the mood or energy department.

In April of 2013, a couple moms I knew who were also pouring out their lives in large adoptive families started raving about how they did a cleanse and had tons of energy. I was intrigued by the energy and simultaneously suspicious of network marketing. I knew enough about these ladies to know they weren't trying to become salespeople because it wasn't their style. I was desperate to feel better and cautiously signed up for a year of discounted membership to purchase the nutritional products they were using. I paid for a 30 day cleanse by allocating some of our grocery budget since the products were food and the shakes were to replace 2 meals a day during the month. I did a 30 day cleanse in May of 2013 and kicked my coffee habit and my desperate need for naps (while buying a house, packing, potty training, starting an adoption and celebrating several events with special food). I lost 13 pounds with little to no effort because I was getting rid toxins and giving my body nutrition it needed. It took me about 2 weeks to decide I loved the way Isagenix made me feel and that I wouldn't be without it for this crazy journey I'm on.

Though I kicked the coffee habit, I wasn't able to kick the sugar habit. After June came home, I was back to my stress eating habits and downing whole containers of cookies and gained the weight I lost a year earlier right back. Not good and not healthy. Not who I wanted to be. It wasn't the weight so much as the reality that it conveyed: this adoption and being a mom of 5 was kicking my butt. That made me mad. I don't want to survive my life, limping til the end. I want to thrive and have more to give a world that needs light and hope. How could I do that if I had given up on my own health in defeat?

I joined the YMCA last summer, and just hung in there. I got a bit stronger doing Body Flow regularly and it was good for stress relief (the free childcare didn't hurt either. Truth.) I don't know exactly how I decided, but another one of those crazy adoption mamas I knew told me about an online trainer who helped mamas like me get their physical and mental strength back (or for the first time?) The program is laid out in a step by step way with at-home workouts and a simple meal plan. The plan was compatible with Isagenix, making it even simpler to implement for me. I started in November, just in time for a lot of holidays! Strangely enough, I looked more fit after the holidays than I did before them. The plan was working, so I kept it up because I felt awesome.

I have made some huge strides in my body composition in the last 6.5 months since working with Carol Elizabeth. I do squat jumps, I lift weights. The bigger strides have been in my thinking, though. I don't feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. I am no longer addicted to sugar. I'm not stuck in the cycle anymore. I get up early. I am nicer to my children! I so want other mamas to get out of their own negative cycle and finally make steps toward vibrant physical and mental health. It would be a privilege to share the stuff I have learned and see other people get free of their defeated thinking and feel better.

 If you are tired and stressed out, please consider trying Isagenix for a month and see how you feel. This is health and fitness for normal, real people. I am not a good cook and I hate burpees. I have a lot of small children and spend hours on the phone each month trying to take care of services and appointments for my kids who have special needs. If I can do this, it is simple. Promise. It's not about the scale, either. Losing pounds is great, but it's not really what it's about. I weigh the same in the two photos below, but in the right one (with my eyes closed and my awesome stray hair) I am in jeans that are a size smaller because I have gained a ton of muscle and I fit better in my clothes. If you would like to see what Isagenix is all about, I will give it to you straight. Good products sell themselves so I don't feel the need to "sell" to anyone. I LOVE to see people succeeding in their goals and getting out of the barely surviving pit. Please join me if you dare :)

Special Needs & Older Child Adoption, One year out from the Mom's view

Part of me still feels like I am reeling from a spinning teacup ride. One year ago we were in Jinan, meeting our 5th child.

She is not our youngest child, but as the others grow she will become the baby, for always. We went in faith, not really knowing what any of this would mean. For example, we didn't quite grasp that bringing June into our family would mean that instead of developmental twins, we would now have developmental triplets. Here are my triplets- different ages, same hair color, same shoe size and similar developmentally... all about the age 3. (Insert emoticon with eyes bugging out. That's my favorite one.)

What this meant for us was that I potty trained two kids this year. We watched a lot of Bubble Guppies, Dora, Diego and Kai Lan. We put up a fence in the backyard so they wouldn't run away. There was much adjusting (read: screaming kids, poop accidents, crying kids, pee accidents, crying mom, coloring on walls and selves, screaming mom) to be done.

There were lots of firsts (first mudpuddle!) and 3 pairs of glasses. Moms of kids with DS from China, please contact me before you buy glasses.

There were two surgeries, three sleep studies, and countless doctor appts... for one kid. Then there were the other four. I gained 10 lbs (boo to stress eating) and lost them again (yay to Isagenix and Carol Elizabeth). I spent many a moment sitting in the corner of my kitchen counter hiding from the children and just catching my breath a bit. And eating Ben and Jerry's half baked fro-yo, thus the weight gain problem....

Despite all of this chaos, I can attest to the following: 

People are kind and want to help. Some even fly to China to help you and carry around your new kid when you run out of strength. My parents and friends held down the fort while we were in China- no small task. We received so many delicious meals when we came home. God has brought some dear dear helpers into our lives (here's a shout out to Katrina and Wendy!) who have literally rocked my world by caring for the kids with no judgment, just love. Many precious friends have listened, so graciously, to my hard and varied emotions. 

Children are resilient. The ways that June has transformed in the last year, through the total upheaval of her life, is nothing short of amazing. She takes each day as it comes and accepts us and loves us as her family without question. She has learned how to act like a little girl, rather than someone who lived in an asylum or frankly, like an animal. Her orphanage was one "of the good ones,"  but when she came home, she was so deeply disregulated so much of the time. Chaotic insane laughter, popping hips, grunting, no self control and just.... weird. She tries her darndest to use her words now and just carries herself so much more like the 8 year old she was meant to be. 

We are resilient and God will grow us through difficulty. I'm not sure that I can describe what this looks like exactly. I know that I am actually cooking real food again on a regular basis, and exercising, and starting to write more, and painting sometimes. So, I know that somehow, even though it doesn't feel like it some days, I am resilient. And that even if it feels like we have a long way to go to reach our new normal, we are no longer in total crisis mode. 

Scheduled breaks help you not burn out. Truly, I'm not sure where I would be if we didn't build in time to keep ourselves and our marriage healthy. For us, this looks like: a Y membership (free childcare!), biweekly date nights, yearly respite trip for Andrew and I, good nutrition, help with cleaning and making an escape from Minnesota winter for a few weeks. We have been able to do several of these things with the help of our CSG (Community Support Grant) that we have through the state due to June's disability. MN moms of kids with disabilities, feel free to contact me about this grant. 

I will leave you with my favorite quote from lately, from an unexpected source, but totally applicable to this journey: Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The gift of beauty

As I mentioned before, adoption is messy. But it is also beautiful. Sometimes it feels like you wish that you could bottle the beauty so you don't forget. And then, someone with an artist soul does it for you! I had to make a separate post for the amazing photos that my dear friend Jess at Olive Avenue Photography captured of our family last summer with a Red Thread Session. These images still take my breath away and I am so grateful for the treasure they are.

First a throwback...Full family pic.  Red Thread Sessions, two years apart. 

What we have been doing....

     It's been awhile since I posted. (Understatement.) This has been a long year in some ways and also fast and chaotic year. Adjusting to our adoption of an older child with Down syndrome has been, as expected, hard. June has adjusted like a champ, but we are slower. It is so far from the natural course of things to add a 7 year old with grown up teeth to your family. I missed having the bonding time with Marcus and Eli in the womb that I had with Ruth and Byron. But losing that time in the womb and getting a snuggly newborn is nothing at all like the difficulty of having a school age child plopped into your life.

    The fact that it's hard doesn't mean that we regret our most recent adoption. Hard things are often the best things for us. But, I refuse to paint a sunshiney rainbow-filled picture of what older child adoption looks like because I know there are so many moms going through the same difficulty out there. We will get there, someday, to the place where we feel like all the members of our family "have always been here." I believe it. However, we are not there yet, and that can be emotionally exhausting. If you have wondered what has happened to us, or feel like we fell off the map... we did. It pretty much takes every bit of energy we have to invest in our marriage and our children at this time. I am okay with that, but it is isolating simply by virtue of the path God has led us down. It is not an easy one and it can be so lonely.

    I try my best to be honest, not in hopes of sympathy, but in a desire to let other moms walking similar paths know that they are not crazy and that they are not alone.  If you are a mom who feels like I do, please contact me! Yes, I know we chose this -- and yet, we still must live and feel the bumps along the way. The choosing doesn't make us exempt from the varied (and strong) emotions of walking the uncommon path of older child and special needs adoption.

All that said, life has been moving along and I know that our family members (hello Auntie Corrie!) would just like to see some photos of the kids. So, I will happily oblige. We had many highlights of our year... we try to not let having 5 kids stop us from having some fun!


 

 June's first day of school EVER.

 Halloween with neighbors

White Sands National Monument

Joshua Tree National Park 

More Joshua Tree. We camped in our pop up. Yes, I know, we are brave!

 Legoland

We camped at the beach, too!

Then, we were tired. So we took a LOVELY respite trip where only Andrew and I were invited.